Suyside
by Allana
Summary: A little girl learns too much...


Title: Suyside  
Author: Allana  
Rating: PG   
Summary: A little girl learns too much…  
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell. Do you own Roswell? Unless you're Jason Katims,   
the WB, or have a lot of money, you DON'T own Roswell.   
Dedication: To Jo! My faithful beta reader!   
Feedback: Please!!!!!   
A/N: This takes place in a future where Max and Tess are married. Don't get me wrong:   
I'm a dreamgirl and I think Tess and Kyle are really cute.   
  
Late at night, Brandy crept to the kitchen for a cookie. As she was concentrating   
on becoming invisible, her dad came home. Her mom looked up from a magazine and   
stood to greet her husband.   
  
*But Daddy looks so sad…*  
  
"What is it, Max?"  
  
Max looked down at the white and lavender linoleum. *It was her favorite color,   
her favorite perfume…* He ignored the question for a while.  
  
"Max, what happened?" the crystal blue eyes pleaded.   
  
"Tess… Liz, she… she committed suicide."  
  
"Oh, Max. I'm so sorry…" Tess put a hand on Max's shoulder. Max shook it   
off.   
  
"Are you?" he whispered, still absorbed in the intricate patterns of the lavender.   
  
Tess stepped back in surprise. "Max, I…"  
  
"Are you?" This time he said it more firmly. He lifted his head and leveled his   
gaze to hers. His brown eyes, once soulful, were hard and fixed of an undetermined   
purpose. "Are you?" he nearly shouted and flung himself at Tess.  
  
Tess accordingly fought off his blows. As Max's anger faded, he burst into tears and   
collapsed into Tess' waiting arms. Max would never try to beat her intentionally. She   
understood.  
  
Carefully, Brandy slipped back into her room, wondering what it all meant.  
  
^*~*^  
  
"How did it happen?"  
  
"Maria found her wearing the Crashdown uniform that she was shot in. She shot   
herself in the same place… I wasn't there, Tess. I wasn't there to save her…"  
  
"Max, it's not your fault."  
  
"Yes it is…"  
  
^*~*^  
  
The next morning, Tess went to wake her daughter. "Honey, I'm going to stay   
home today, alright?"  
  
The sleepy girl of three and a half said groggily, "Why isn't Auntie Lizzie coming   
to stay with me?"  
  
Tess paused and diverted her eyes. "She can't come," she said as steadily as she   
could manage.  
  
"Did something really bad happen?"  
  
"Yes, sweetie."  
  
"Will it happen to me?"  
  
"Sweetie…" she said, smoothing the dark, curly hair.   
  
"What's suicide, mommy?"   
  
"Brandy Michelle Evans, where did you hear of something like that?" Tess had   
reddened a bit and her hands shook behind her back. She sat down on her daughter's   
bed.  
  
Brandy thought quickly. *Suicide is a bad thing, so where do bad things come   
from?* "The news," she said innocently.  
  
Tess relaxed her lungs and breathed easier. "I told you not to watch that."  
  
"What is it?" implored the child.  
  
"It's something someone does… when they're really sad. They end their lives."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well… They probably think that it's better on the other side."  
  
"Is that the bad thing that happened to Lizzy?"  
  
Tess' eyes glimmered with unshed tears. "Yes, Sweetie." As she got up to leave,   
Brandy heard her whisper, "I wish I'd been nicer to her."  
  
^*~*^  
  
Dear Mummy and Daddy,  
Im reil sad abot aunty Lizy. I wan't to sea her agin so im gunna comit suyside. I   
luv u.   
  
Brandy  
  
Brandy finished her letter and drew a heart by her name. She took her backpack,   
which contained a peanut butter, jelly, and Tobasco sandwich; a stick of Tess' lipstick;   
and a stuffed alien doll that Max gave her at birth. Looking back at her room, she left   
and closed the door.   
  
Upon reaching the kitchen, she took on of the sharpest knives from the knife   
drawer, the one which Tess told her not to touch. Picking it up, she almost wondered   
what to do with it. Then, in a rush of decision, she closed her eyes and brought the knife   
down swiftly.  
  
^*~*^  
  
Max went into the kitchen from the living room. He had heard a thud upon the   
floor. Behind the counter, he saw his daughter lying face down on the ground.   
"Brandy," he whispered as he ran to her. He turned her body over and saw her eyes tight   
shut with a kitchen knife tucked closely under her arm. Max almost smiled. "Brandy,   
open your eyes," he said softly.   
  
Brandy's eyes blinked open. "Daddy? Am I on the other side yet?"  
  
"No, sweetie," he said as he carefully removed the knife and placed it back in the   
drawer.   
  
"But I want to see Lizzie."  
  
"You will, someday. We will all be together again eventually." He picked her up   
and held her close, rocking her back and forth.   
  
"Did you love her, Daddy?"  
  
Tears shone in his eyes. "Yes."  
  
"But don't you love Mommy too?"  
  
"Yes. It was different, though. I didn't want Liz to get hurt… I have so many   
regrets…" He stopped as he realized what he was saying. "Someday I'll explain all of   
this to you. You might never understand, but…" He carried her off the floor and sat with   
her on the couch. "I hope that your life will be a lot less complicated than ours was."  
  
Brandy said nothing, though she didn't fully understand. All she knew was that   
his lap was warm and his voice was low and comforting. Soon she drifted off to a   
pleasant sleep.   
  
Max felt his daughter's breathing slow into a steady rhythm. Without warning, he   
started to cry silently. His tears fell onto his sleeping daughter's hair. He didn't know   
how he was going to survive, but he knew he had to. But he also knew that he'd never be   
alone.   
  
^*~*^  
  
Tess walked into the living room to find both Brandy and Max asleep. Smiling   
slightly, she turned off the light. "Sweet dreams, Max. Sweet dreams, Brandy." Tess   
turned to walk away, but felt as if she were forgetting something. Then she turned to the   
large living room window and looked up towards the stars. She could see the   
constellation of their home planet. "Sweet dreams, Liz."   



End file.
